All grown up at age 29
Dec. 11th, 2008 04:16 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
suvrocGod help me, I'm updating my resume for the first time since 2004 or so. One of the perks of being a professional guinea pig is that all they care about is that you're healthy and not too crazy. I'm applying to an internship at a local alt weekly. In addition to that I'm trying to get my ass back in school, also for the first time since 2004/2005, so I can finally complete my undergrad. This is a process, as not only is there the four year gap, but my GPA is... well, let's just say it's embarrassingly horrible.
Because I'm so bad at all this, I'm really good at scaring myself into a state of inaction. "Why should I even write this letter of intent for Drexel? I'm just going to fuck up again. It's what I always do." And blah blah blah. It's stupid, I know, and I just need to do things before my self-esteem takes over and causes these bouts of severe idiocy. Example? I should have sent in the aforementioned "Pretty please let me back in" letter two weeks ago, if not three. But Mikey died, Thanksgiving happened, and as time went on I became more and more disenchanted with myself and with whatever dreams I was having that I would actually succeed at something for once.
No one needs to tell me that I'm better at life than I think I am. I know this. I've just become so good at being a lazy good-for-nothing. I need order, damn it. Order and organization. Maybe some self-discipline, too. Is there a Google app for this? I hope so.
Because I'm so bad at all this, I'm really good at scaring myself into a state of inaction. "Why should I even write this letter of intent for Drexel? I'm just going to fuck up again. It's what I always do." And blah blah blah. It's stupid, I know, and I just need to do things before my self-esteem takes over and causes these bouts of severe idiocy. Example? I should have sent in the aforementioned "Pretty please let me back in" letter two weeks ago, if not three. But Mikey died, Thanksgiving happened, and as time went on I became more and more disenchanted with myself and with whatever dreams I was having that I would actually succeed at something for once.
No one needs to tell me that I'm better at life than I think I am. I know this. I've just become so good at being a lazy good-for-nothing. I need order, damn it. Order and organization. Maybe some self-discipline, too. Is there a Google app for this? I hope so.
